my husband's brother has been staying with us for almost three weeks now and it was only supposed to be a few days. He doesn't have a job right now and somehow every time money comes up he "forgot his wallet" or "will pay us back next week." I've bought groceries for way more people than usual, covered his part of a family dinner and yesterday he asked to borrow gas money and I just said yes because saying no felt like more of a fight than it was worth. My husband keeps saying it's temporary and family helps family, which I actually agree with in general, but it's been weeks and there's no plan, no end date, nothing. I finally brought it up last night and he got defensive and said I was being cold about his own brother. I'm not trying to be the villain here, I just don't want to be the only one thinking about money while everyone else acts like it'll sort itself out.

You're stuck feeling like the only adult in the room while your husband's brother runs up a tab and your husband calls it family loyalty.

I left the call angry and now I feel guilty. I know they meant well. I still needed space.

Caring and needing distance can show up in the same breath.